Starting Over

This is hard for me...I don't really know where to begin.

I have been told that writing a blog is something that can be really cathartic, but the problem is that I just don't know where to begin on this topic (or any topic for that matter).

There are just so many things that I feel I should be talking about, and yet I don't know what should be first and foremost on my list of discussion topics. I guess that the first thing to cover is who I am as a person.

I guess that you could say that I am a person who is at a point in his life that feels like something of a holding pattern. You see, there are quite a few things that have happened in my life that have acted as a sort of, U-turn. In many ways, I don't even know who I am anymore as a person. There are a few things that I know for sure, things that I want out of my life, things that I want to do before I die, people I would like to meet, you know, that sort of thing. The big problem that I have with my life is that I don't know how to begin on the path to where I want to go. And I really fear that at the age of 31 that my best years may in fact be behind me.

The other issue that I find is always plaguing me is that I have this fear that I will die at a young age. It is something that I have been worried about since I was young. I never thought that I would live past the age of 40 or 50.....and if that is the case, then maybe I really need to get my act together and start working on the things that I want to do before I die.

So, with all of those things aside...

- I'm 31
- I am still stuck living at home
- More than anything, I want to be a flight attendant. I know that sounds like a really weird goal for a man, but I have always liked the idea of being responsible for the safety of people....being able to see small children marvel at the magic of flight, make places on postcards become reality...frankly, I could be flying from Toronto to Winnipeg in January and I would be happy as a clam.
- I need to learn to speak French - you see, I don't want to fly for just anyone...I want to fly for Air Canada. They are the best airline in North America and they also are the flag carrier for Canada. I don't want to fly for anyone less than the best....although, I do like WestJet, but Air Canada is really what I have my sights set on.
-  Being able to take off for different parts of the world the way that some people go to the grocery is also something that is pretty damn cool.
- Finally (on the flight attendant topic), I would love to be able to put my Mom on a plane to England whenever she felt like it so that she could visit her cousin.

The problem with all of this is that I can't speak French...and I have issues with learning it. But to be honest, I think that if I want this bad enough, I will get it.....it just may kill me in the process.

Moving on from that topic...

I don't have many heroes in my life, but there are a few that I feel that by bringing to your attention will give you a better idea of who I am as a person...

For starters, Marcia Clark - she is at the top of my list. Her ethics, her incredible drive and dedication to the cause, despite insurmountable odds of never getting a conviction are somethingt that I will always admire. (She was the prosecutor on the O.J. Simpson murder trial back in 1994/1995....and we all know how that wound up.) The bottom line is that she never gave up, never let anything slow her down and she stood up for what she believed in. That is the kind of person that I would like to be.

Joe Sutter - he was the man who designed the Boeing 747 and when Boeing wanted to shrink the program and lay people off, he pushed hard to keep engineers and grow the program. The fact that he stood up for what he believed in is something I really admire.

Jan Brown-Lohr - Back in 1988, there was a severe crash of a United Airlines DC-10 in Sioux City, Iowa. The crash had some significant fatality numbers, but she kept her cool. She was not only completely by the book in handling a horrific situation, but she also campaigned hard after the crash and became an advocate for passenger safety. If I ever am able to start flying friendly in the skies, she is the EXACT type of flight attendant that I would like to be.

I guess that this is a pretty decent start for now. There is A LOT more that I will need to cover, but for now, this will have to do.